Carol Wexler Kalnow
Grief / Bereavement Coaching / Reiki Healer
Let me help guide you through this most difficult and painful time.
One step at a time. One breath at a time.
You can live, love and laugh again.
As, unfortunately, sorrow and joy are intertwined.
You can’t have one without the other. However…
“When someone becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure”
Unknown
Welcome, I’m Carol
Let me help guide you through this
most difficult and painful moment in your life,
for I too, have walked this walk. Although each journey is unique, there are avenues we can explore together to help ease the healing process.
My Story
As wonderful, attentive and protective as my children were (Drew, wife Anne and Cara), I knew they had their own lives to live. They could not be my 24/7. Work became a “safe haven”. I could immerse myself and shut out the world. Walking home and wandering became the norm; avoiding going home at all costs. I’d wander the streets of Chicago, dine alone, try to listen to music or just sit in silence. There were times I even contemplated jumping off the bridge. Truly contemplated it. Once home, I’d open a bottle of wine and walk around the dining room table. Many times, just crying. I searched for a therapist that had walked the walk as well as talked the talked. There didn’t seem to be one. I wasn’t ready for group therapy. I was too wrapped up in my own grief and just wanted that someone to reach out to. Most friends wanted to comfort me, but I was not ready to let them in. I hoped that they would be there when I needed them. I sought out those that had lost a spouse or partner. They were my saviors. They knew the depth of pain. A depth of pain that is unimaginable. Everywhere I went there were memories. Joyous, but painful memories. Dealing with the records and legal matters surrounding Ron’s death, became a raw, gut-wrenching, gift that kept on giving. There was no escaping the grief, the pain. The days seemed dark and unbearable.
The first time I smiled, the first time I laughed, oh the guilt! But there it was. I was beginning to thaw, beginning to take small steps forward. Fast forward to today (13 years later – 2021), I still miss Ron with every fiber of my being, but I am able to live, laugh and embrace life again. It’s a journey I wish on no one, but one that many of us (unfortunately) go through. Remember to breathe, remember to keep breathing.
Of course, as I write this, Elvis Presley’s singing, “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You”, begins playing on the radio. It was our last dance. Our spontaneous dance the day before his accident while enjoying coffee at Starbucks. Ron is ALWAYS with me, always within me.
“I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You”
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you?
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you
For I can’t help falling in love with you